Making Milk Kefir- or am I?

I'm so incredibly frustrated! 

I purchased dehydrated dairy kefir grains from a website back in August and had absolutely no luck getting them anywhere. I tried putting them straight in the milk and in a reusable "brew bag".  I tried rinsing them, and I tried not rinsing them.  I've tried it with a lid on top and with cheese cloth on  top.  Nothing.  And then, as things were starting to look positive, I killed them.  Yup, I left them in the jar without milk overnight because my brain went on vacation.  Oops.

So, yesterday I spent 10 bucks.  I found a local person through Craigslist who was selling her extra grains.  I told her my woes, and she said it sounded like the grains never fully matured.  So I bought her fully matured grains, and was flabbergasted by how many there were!  I had maybe a teaspoons worth from the dehydrated grains, and she gave me practically a cup!  She assured me they would work- they always work for her!

So, I tried them last night, and- nope.  NO luck.  I'll try again tonight with cheese cloth instead of the lid, but I am getting frustrated!  And a little ticked off- I'm wasting all this good, expensive, raw milk on failure after failure.  But my husband LOVES kefir and would drink it by the gallon if he could.  But at $5 a liter in the store for whole milk non-sweetened organic (pasturized) kefir, we just can't afford it.  Especially this month of (supposed) non-spending.

So does anybody have any hints?  Any helpful solutions to my problems?  I'm at a loss here!  Please!